Can I Help You?

Have you ever been at work (or anywhere really) and tried to honestly help somebody out but then come to the realization that there was no way you could help them and instead of feeling bad about the whole situation because you couldn't help them, you laughed about the whole thing? (wow, that was a long run-on question!) Anyway, I had such an experience at my day job not too long ago and thought I would share it with my readers. You see, I work in Customer Service and our customers can generally contact us by phone and e-mail. One day, I suggested that customers should have the option to chat live with us online.


They decided to launch a live chat feature which I now spend about 60% of my work day logged into.... and here is a recent chat in which all I could end up doing was laugh....


[12:05:27] Wes: Welcome to our live chat service. My name is Wes. How may I help you today?
[12:06:28] nobleralph: thanks
[12:06:34] nobleralph: my name is raphael
[12:06:52] nobleralph: iwant to know more about your service pls
[12:07:26] nobleralph: hello are u ther
[12:07:41] Wes: Yes, sorry.
[12:08:51] nobleralph: thanks
[12:09:05] nobleralph: how do i take part in ur service
[12:08:23] Wes: We are an online delivery company that provides food delivery from various restaurants in the Silicon Valley/Peninsula and San Francisco Areas.
[12:09:29] nobleralph: i live in nigeria
[12:09:40] nobleralph: can i have u deliver food to me here
[12:08:59] Wes: We do not have any services there, sorry.
[12:10:01] nobleralph: ok
[12:10:12] nobleralph: are currently employing
[12:10:21] nobleralph: people
[12:11:04] Wes: Right now, the only positions we have would be based in California.
[12:12:32] nobleralph: pls kindly send me application details
[12:12:45] nobleralph: i really need a job
[12:13:04] nobleralph: to help me finance my education and make a future for myself and my family pls
[12:15:07] Wes: We have no jobs to offer, sorry.
[12:16:27] nobleralph: send me the carlifornia email address so that i can send my cv
[12:16:51] nobleralph: pls do this for me
[12:16:59] nobleralph: and save a soul
[12:17:03] Wes: You would have to live in California in order to work here though.
[12:18:41] nobleralph: IF I AM OFFERED EMPLOYMENT THEN I WILL WORK OUT MY PAPERS TO COME DOWN
[12:19:11] nobleralph: I KNOW THEY WILL DIRECT ME ON THE PROCEDURES TO FOLLOW
[12:19:29] nobleralph: IF MY APPLICATION IS GRANTED
[12:18:57] Wes: Well, the only positions we are currently hiring for right now are for delivery drivers - and for that position you need to have had a California Drivers License for at least 2 years -
[12:20:22] nobleralph: EVERY THING IS POSSIBLE WITH GOD
[12:20:37] nobleralph: IF I CAN GET THE JOB THE LICENSE WILL NOT BE A PROBLEM
[12:20:47] nobleralph: I CAN DRIVE VERY WELL
[12:20:54] nobleralph: TOO
[12:20:07] Wes: Sorry we are unable to help you further. Have a good day.

You see how he started yelling at me? **using caps in considered yelling in the chat universe** I would have typed in smaller font if possible, ya know, to calm him down a bit.

Now I don't have anything against religion...even I was baptized once myself (then I started doing comedy...weird)...but the line where he says "Every thing Is Possible With God" had me laughing. This was after I told him he needed a CA License. OK, I can believe God is powerful, but can he really give you your CA License for 2 years in one day?

Anyway.... hope you enjoyed it. :-)

For those of you who may not have heard, I withdrew myself from the Walk The Plank Comedy Competition tomorrow night in San Francisco. Unfortunately, one of my uncles unexpectedly passed away so I will not be doing any shows for a little while... I thank you for your thoughts and good wishes.