Friday, March 12, 2010

You put the "psycho" in Psychology...

In my years of dating, I have always seemed to fall for the girls who were currently studying psychology or had finished studying psychology. I am single now so obviously this has not been the answer for me. I have had 3 girlfriends in my life who were psychology majors. I see that as three strikes.

Yes, it was their looks that attracted me to them in the beginning. . . but the beginning can only last so long.

I've often heard that people who study psychology have often had a lot of family problems in their lives. This can be said for two of the three "psycho" girlfriends.... one of them had lost their dad in an accident but was never really close to him anyway, another one had their dad abandon them when she was young. The other one still had a close-knit family, but she has issues of being a slut.

When I worked at Barnes & Noble, I often found it interesting that books like When Someone You Love Is Depressed were categorized in the Psychology section. From my experience, it would make more sense if these books were classified as an Autobiography. "Hey, I know! I'll take the trauma from my miserable life and write a book and make you think it is your problem!"

Would you be comfortable dating a psychologist? No really, would you?

Psychologists are known for analyzing things... that's what they do. I don't enjoy being analyzed and I think that it is what it really comes down to. I hate how past girlfriends got upset at me for not smiling all the time even though I said I was happy. "You don't look happy!" they'd say... If I didn't care about losing my nuts, then I'd reply, "Well, you don't look like a bitch!"

Don't analyze a stand-up comedian.... just don't do it. You can determine if you think we're funny or not, that is okay... but don't try to read into the story behind every single joke we tell. Psychology Today published an article last year titled Is Your Comedian Your Therapist?

A lot of stand-up comedians say that doing comedy is their form of therapy. . . and at times, I feel the same way.

If you're unsure if you're dating a Psychology Major yourself then you can always refer to this list.

So to the ladies that I like. . . please stop being psychology majors.


  1. Being both one of your ex-girlfriends and having gotten my B.A. in psychology (before we had dated) and not fitting any of the descriptions of exes above, I'd be remiss if I didn't comment. Hopefully, I'm an example of the non-psycho psychology majors. Personally, I don't analyze other people. I can read people fairly well, but only in the sense that anyone can be perceptive to other people's emotions and reactions if they pay attention and only for the purpose of making sure I treat people appropriately. Like if someone is clearly angry, you don't want to do or say anything that would anger them further (well, maybe you would if you're trying to get under their skin lol).
    FYI, Psychology is the 2nd most popular major for people obtaining a college degree.
    People are social creatures and everyone is interested in how the mind works to some degree. Psychology is really just an interesting subject. Really, in a way, as a comedian you're doing a bit of psychology yourself - you have to know your audience and have a grasp of what will work well with certain types of crowds. Without the ability to read the crowd and sense the crowd's reactions, a comedian will bomb.
    I say this as someone who cares about you as a friend and hopes you do find a woman you can be happy with, I understand that you are trying to be funny here, but any women reading this (psych majors or otherwise) will avoid you like the plague because they won't want to become one of your "psycho" exes. So unless you want to be single forever, you may want to rethink this post. We women do know about Google ya' know, and we do use it to check out the dirt on potential boyfriends.

  2. The a dumb chic! LOL I kid.

  3. To the two people you commented above... I will consider what you both said.

    Nicole... thanks for that link, now it makes more sense why I have ended up dating a lot of psychology majors and no you weren't one of them that I was referring to...

    thanks for reading. :)

  4. I like that you have slut linked to wikipedia page for that word.

  5. obviously the comedian was not an English major.

  6. Touche, Shamie... Touche.... but that means you were analyzing...